


Mistakes

by deepseaCritter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hiding Medical Issues, battle trauma, physical and mental injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepseaCritter/pseuds/deepseaCritter
Summary: Jacek, clone ordnance specialist, is dealing with the consequences of battlefield actions. Some injuries you can't easily see or treat.





	Mistakes

Jacek has curled up in his bunk, massaging his temples as his head throbbed with excruciating, almost blinding pain. He was alone, thankfully. He didn’t want any of his brothers to see him like this.

The headaches had started after Felucia. From what he could recall, he and his bomb squad had been kept busy as the battle raged on, but that was normal. Ordnance was alway busy, but they were all trained for the work, all trained to not make mistakes. “ _100% success, or total failure_.” Those were the options in Ordnance. There was a standard joke in the 501st about what to do when you see the Ordnance troopers running. Dark humor for sure, but there was truth to it. When dealing with explosives, the slightest error could result in devastating casualties for not only his men, but anyone else who happened to be in the area.

He couldn’t remember what exactly happened. Maybe it was a momentary slip of complacency...or the sudden comm chatter that erupted with calls for falling back and retreating off planet...that had caused him to lose focus and make a mistake. It was such a minor detail, a slight miscalculation in the fuse length he needed to safely detonate a Seppie fragmentation mine. It wasn’t until he set the fuse that he knew it was wrong. Catastrophically wrong.

Jacek screamed the order to run, and hesitated a split second to make sure his men had heard the order. A blur of movement radiating away from him indicated that they had...and were trying to get as much distance between themselves and the mine as fast as possible. He took off after them...and that’s the last he remembered. 

The mine had detonated, Jacek well within the blast radius. From what he read in reports, a recovery team found him, barely alive but still worth saving. The medics were sure he could be patched up alright. He wasn’t missing any limbs, so there was nothing about his injuries a decent stint in a bacta tank wouldn’t cure. He’d be mended and sent back out in the field with what remained of his squad. It was well known that the GAR needed to retain as many Ordnance specialists as possible, and that was probably the only real thing that saved him.

After treatment, he was physically no worse for wear. Sure, he had a few new scars to show off, but everything else was moving and working like normal. Medically he was declared 100% fit for duty. Mentally...that was a different story.

He had to deal with the guilt of being responsible for the deaths of three of his squad brothers, the ones who couldn’t make it far enough away by the time the mine blew. His own damn mistake cost lives. Maybe it should have killed him too...better him than his brothers. At least he wouldn’t have to think about it every day.

No, he was still here, soldiering on like the rest. This was war. Mistakes happen, good soldiers die, this was their life. He would learn to live with it.

Then there were the headaches, like the one he was dealing with now. The ones that started after leaving the med bay. They were all trained to deal with combat traumas, but this pain...this was never part of any training he received. Clearly something was wrong, but what that something was, he had no idea. He certainly wasn’t going to talk to any of his squad-mates about his problem. He could still do his job, and that’s what mattered. If his brothers lost confidence in him, and it was determined that he was unable to perform his duties...he would be sent back to Kamino. That was definitely not going to happen.

———

Morning formation had just ended, and troopers were dismissed for breakfast. As squads fell out and headed to the mess hall, Jacek discretely sought out the medic from Torrent Company. Kix was reliable and, by all accounts, one of the best medics the 501st had to offer. He could also be counted on to maintain strict confidence if requested.

Kix was concerned and sympathetic, but had not been able to offer any sure-fire ways to keep the headaches at bay. He said the best he could do at the moment was to provide Jacek with something to temporarily deal with the pain, but promised to look into long-term recovery options. Jacek accepted whatever Kix offered, and retreated to the barracks.

Now, hiding in his top bunk, Jacek took four of the capsules he had been supplied. Kix told him to take two of the caps for moderate discomfort, but right now the pain was bordering unbearable. Hopefully four caps would do the job. He had to fight through this, not just for his own good, but for his brothers who depended on him. He couldn’t let them down again... 

———

The light overhead snapped on. Jacek inhaled sharply with a hiss and covered his eyes, as the sudden flash brought on a wave of agony.

“Jacek? Hey, Jacek...you ok there vod?” A concerned voice called up to him.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Jacek strained a reply, “Just resting, Gunner. Decided to catch a little extra rack time.”

The look on Gunner’s face indicated he did not believe that at all, but some things you didn’t say unless you absolutely had to. Clearly his brother was hurting but didn’t want to talk, and Gunner wasn’t going to force him to.

“Sure, you look like you could use more sleep.” _I know you’re not ok. What is it?_

Jacek made no effort at a reply. Gunner hit the lights, and as he turned to leave, looked back to the figure curled in the bunk.

“Meh gar kyrayc, shuk bah ni, ner vod.”

The words hung heavy in the air, their intended meaning reached out in the darkness. _I've lost too many brothers already..._


End file.
